You Do You!

After being cheated on, some may ask, “how do I deal with it, going forward?” Well, Readers, the answer is, one day at a time. First is to take a deep breath. Pray! Then, perhaps take some time for yourself.
Did anyone take some “ME” time?
I did! As for me, now that my vacation is over, my time spent with my family has been productive and I have surrounded myself with nurturing, loving folks who are supportive —Again, what now? It’s not even about the cheating spouse/significant other anymore. It is about us! We have experienced or know someone who has been cheated on. Some of us are still happily married and have stayed in our relationship —and I always pray for marital strength and may the Lord continue to bless your marriage. Secret is, communication with your spouse/significant other. This group is here to help everyone. We do not judge. Yes, help —I mean all of us. So many read through this group or my blog daily and never reply a word. It is ok. While you read, get some tea or coffee, I still consider this ME time. Share this positive good news group with anyone who is suffering or has suffered and made it through.

I say, be selfish with yourself! Learn to say no! Learn to be alone. “You” cannot help everyone anymore. Take a load off your shoulders.
Then you can do whatever you like!
Oh, I almost forgot—Remove negative people from your lives.

Treat yourself to a spa day. If you do not have any extra funds, clean your tub, light some candles from the dollar tree, run a warm bath with lavender scents. Cut down on your extra household expenses. Get the grandparents involved with the kids (if you have any), date, remarry. You do you and whatever makes you happy.

Someone told me that I appear too calm, could I be faking it? Another person said that I seem to be doing so well, that perhaps I really did not care or love. I loved my husband, but I love me more!
Yep, folks will try you. But I took the high road, because those who really know me are smiling and visualizing me kissing my arms and hands, singing to myself 🎤 🎶 ‘I love me some ME’.
Not everyone likes you. Yep, some are even are jealous of you.! Some folks don’t like you and do not have your best interest at heart. Who cares? I’m here to tell you that my well-being comes first. Readers, so should yours! My condition when I first learned of this spiraling cheating experience, was shock with feelings of prickling knives in the shattered pieces of my body. I have forgiven him and I am now able to pray for him and ask God to give him peace of mind to move on. Say what, now? Yep, I said it, I include him in my prayers. I pray he finds happiness, as well. When we forgive, we heal. Listen Readers, I make no apologies for picking up my hurt pieces and putting myself back together again with God, family, friends and therapy. I sought help right away through prayer, journaling, blogging and therapy. Mental health deterioration is real if not looked after. I was not going to stay and shut up because my culture or my age may dictate that, chances are, I’ll be alone and lonely. To maintain peace of mind, I’ll take my chances. Meanwhile, once in a while I encourage and uplift myself when I go back and read what I wrote a week or a month ago. This is helping me, too.

You see Readers, I do not have that issue, because, under God, I have always come first. I was happy in my marriage. However, the key fact is, I never lost or have I forgotten myself.
My dearly departed mother has shown me to put myself first. That is why through this infidelity tsunami with torrential downpour and rain I had Jesus lifeboat ready to carry me through this storm when I received the devastating, life changing call in late December 2019. When I got to land, I followed the breadcrumbs I had laid out called family, friends and resources that I never got rid of because I got married. I am blessed.
Bottomline, no man (no one) is an island, so don’t drop your family or friends. Your spouse is a welcomed addition to your orchestra, not a solo ensemble.

John 14: 1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.

Positive affirmation. I love God with ALL my heart and soul.

Z88.3