Hypocrisy, Indeed

Readers, we need to know that we are loved and our lives are not empty. God always has a greater purpose for us. One may not understand His way or why! It is not for us to ask God, why me? Some folks think that everything revolves around them. I’m here to tell you, it does not! Narcissistic (selfish/me, me) folks may think differently! However, our real purpose is to worship God and help the next person.

Sometimes we make hasty decisions that may negatively impact us. This was not one of those times, for me. The trust was severed. Our bond was broken. I knew the same hour I found out my husband may have fathered a child outside of our marriage, I could never go back to him. Readers, I know what you are thinking 🤔 ‘how could you know so fast?’ Well, the principal and several major factors! It does not matter whether the child is his. The dirty act was done by choice. I’ll give this a visual and break it down further—my husband’s penis went into another woman’s vagina, without a condom, while married to me. No amount of I’m sorry can erase it from my memory (small rant).
Firstly 1a- I did not hear of his infidelity from him. 1b-the length of time (2+ years). 1c-the promise and the token of our marriage vows disrespected. Secondly and personally, I knew my lips could not kiss him again and I knew our bodies could not be intimate again, either. You see Readers, i deserve better, plus, I never learned to share in the sandbox during playtime.

Readers, I had to repent because I did not ask God for permission first before I asked my husband to leave. I understand the Bible says that infidelity is a reason that I may leave my husband, but I did not appeal to my Father God first and for that I am sorry. I also forgave my husband. Readers we must go to God first for everything and in every situation and pray/petition.

Having said that, God already knew my heart and knew the outcome. You see, Readers, God does not make mistakes. When something happens, stop saying, it’s the devil 👿. I’m telling you, I know that God opened my eyes by using the least likeliest person anyone would have expected to tell me. Someone who probably hates my guts And, took pleasure in telling me. God has a funny sense of humor. But God will use a rock, a rattlesnake or an ant, if He feels like it, in order to get a message to His people! What she may have meant for evil, hallelujah, God meant it for my good. I had to find out, and it had to come to light, amen. Oh, yeah, I was feeling some kinda way and was in my feelings that night. Since then, I have learned lots of folks knew for months and years. However, no one had the balls to tell me. It may not have been their place and I get that. But some of those same folks, now, want to tell me what to do. I say to them, kick rocks! Hypocrisy is not welcomed and is anti-friendship. I could not care less as some keep gossiping. This round is my dance alone; and to many folk’s dismay, God has uplifted me and embraced me so I have not fallen. Listen, I was told by a number of folks, that the cultural response to my husband’s ex-telling me, should have been: I’ll wait to discuss this with my husband once he gets home. Instead, I decided to simply thank her and made calls to confirm the possible two-year old product of infidelity. Matter of fact, I was grateful to her. I probably would have never found out.
Let’s just say, after two-hours of the disarray of his strewn belongings thrown in the garage, upon my husband’s arrival home, all that came out was, “ I did not know how to tell you”. “I was too scared to tell you”. “I love y…” Stop—just leave! (remember no cursing).

Readers, did you know that denial is unhealthy? It is also bad for a relationship, as well. Why? Because it builds resentment and animosity, that almost always results in negative outcomes. If folks choose to remain in the relationship with a known cheater, it is a personal choice, however, if you are staying and there is no open discussion or therapy, emotions will fester and come to a boil and will runneth over to resentment with spouses sleeping under the same roof, but different beds and/or possibly may lead to the other spouse cheating for revenge. Please try to prevent attending your personal infidelity dance. Sometimes when infidelity sets in and nothing is done and the hurt is swept under the rug, almost nothing will make sense in our household because we are living a lie. Please, also avoid the chaos. This is some serious advice folks. Work it out! Communication is key. By doing so, the anger, tears and pain will subside and eventually fade in the wind as time pass, and your relationship may grow stronger.

There are terrific spouses out there. I wish every relationship well. I had to face the honest truth that weighed me down for a sleepless month, my ego received a major hit. God has allowed my truth, to give hope to myself and others, as we read these writings. I sought other help immediately, as well. I had to go through a complete physical, including STD testing. No one needs to go through this alone. I had God, my close family and friends. One of the things my therapist said to me is: did you enjoy your marriage journey and had fun when things was good. I ain’t gonna lie or front—yes, I did! It was great. I have no bitterness or regrets. Stop! I had to love myself more and cut our marital cord.

Reader’s please notice I do not bash and ask us not to do so. I express my personal journey through my husband’s marital infidelity. I can even be cordial to him. A nasty woman is an unhappy person. That I am not! This is a new journey that God is taken me.
Readers, I must shout out that I really think that our cheating spouse/significant other loves us. However, they just wanted more and more and yes, more. This may be a generational curse.

I would be remiss if I did not say infidelity has happened to many folks. Some chose to suffer in silence. To them, I say, please stay strong! However, I would further be remised if I did not pose this question which may relate to ourselves, daughters/sons, brother/sisters, friends, neighbors, parents, boss, cousins, and co-workers (anyone) —if a partner continues to cheat, and we continue to accept it, is there any self-esteem or dignity left in us and/or are we being told indirectly by our spouse/significant other they don’t want us? I can’t imagine staying with someone who doesn’t want me! What do you think? Please post an opinion/response for discussion…

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Positive affirmation: In order to find peace, I removed all negative energy from my life this week.

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