BROKENNESS: part of my shocking experience

Readers, this was supposed to be a dirty, silent secret that should never have gotten out! My father God saw differently and commanded me to write about it. I had to overcome my fear and listen to God! Little did I know that my therapist would concur and this would become a major part of my healing process! I encourage you to go back and really read what I have written in my experience during the process leading toward my divorce. I did not take it lightly. In fact, I was pensive and put much thought into every written word.✍🏼 ✅

When I say leave me alone I mean it! I paid almost $6,000 for a contested divorce, plus mediation because I wanted to be left alone. It should have cost $450 at most. Please stop 🛑 Enough false accusations. I want nothing to do with you but cases. I have asked, so now, I’ll dish it all out, too.

Truth be told, I imagine he was very divisive in his way to win and split everyone up. No names need to be spelled out because everyone recognizes themselves. Let me spill some of that tea! ☕️ I have now learned that this is what he did. Using me as a wife covering to pretend faithfulness, so no one would ever suspect a side piece or an ex; 💍🤢🤮 Once caught and I asked since he knew the side piece before he met me, why did he not marry her? His response is because she was slow. Then I found out she was only 22 at the time; 🍼 Talking about how bad an ex wife is, and the many men she has been with, one would never suspect, he still had an interest and was paying her many expenses and discussing our household business with her; 💰 Telling me how the man your ex-wife is with is so vile and a womanizer when you was his friend and roommate, is down and dirty; Each man your ex is with, you have a problem on how they discipline your kids and your wife agrees with them because, it keeps you there; Talking about how many thousands of dollars a friend borrowed from you and refuses to pay back and having parties and acknowledging newly found friends and ignoring you, is a way to keep folks away from your wife. I was sick of listening to complaints; 👂🏽Talking about your own mother, and constantly arguing with her and stating how greedy she is and how she uses you and not her other favorite children is super low, yet she is your adviser, is the ultimate hypocrisy; Hiding secret funds from the business and pretending the little money you make is reinvested in the business is crass. I never wanted your money; 💴 Stating the church folks who introduced us as fake, when they first split and he stayed at your mother’s house and saying now they think they are happier than everyone is lame; ⛪️ Talking about your best friend being in denial about their kid’s smoking weed habits in school and their sexuality, is not cool; 😎and telling folks that you married an old woman who is established as she has everything makes you a loser, not important or superior to the friends you laughed behind my back with. 👩🏽‍🦳 Now rumors and lies about me churns. 🤥🤥They do not think I will hear. Blah, blah, means I don’t give a flying fig! 🤬 You know what I say, Readers, I do not throw a rock and hide my hands. I tell it to your face, as hypocrisy is not my forte! Don’t start “nothing” and it won’t be nothing!

Interestingly, my ex-husband was secretive. 🤫 Zero accountability and encouraging enablers told me to take him back and stop writing. Sometimes we want to hear lies or cover for those who are lying. I wonder how most of them feel now? Are they still blaming me? Using my night work schedule was great for him for many years, but now the lights are on. All the darkness has come to light. 🌚 🌞 The sad part is, everyone he was involved with only knew about me, the old wife! What they never suspected from this stelth of a lying cheater was he had his way with friends, side piece, ex wife and Lord knows who else. His frivolous behavior in his mid-forties, and that of many others in his entourage spans decade(s), according to his best friend. They did not know he was a hoe because he got married, and neither did I! Folks allowed themselves to be used because they envied and wanted to be little old me. Now the side piece called me to tell me she has this terrible itching in her privates🤪😱🤷🏾‍♀️ I have the date, time of calls. She also said, he was buying her a house. PSA Did you think once with you, he would never cheat again? You are not the only side piece! You got what you wanted. Not my problem. Hoe, hoe, hoe. It’s not Christmas, either!🌲 I can’t hear you! Might be crabs or herpes. Go to your local Department of health.

My ex-husband knew my expectations. I gave him a great wife, peace, comfort and joy. Household expenses, vacations, dinners, travel, gifts, brunch, chores were met by him. We had a good ride before I knew who he really was!🎢 He had to hide it in the crevices to keep me from finding out his disgusting behavior. He knew I didn’t take no mess. 🤮 they need to refrain from blaming me for stupid shit. I am no longer involved! Stop using my name in your shenanigans! 🛑 Keep my name out your mouth.

He learned the hard way. I ain’t the one! God has rescued me and his blessing has departed from him, to never return!🙏🏾

Erasing your info and the side piece info from my phone, forced me to go to Apple and got them reinstated 🤪😂😂 I got new passwords and I’m changing them often 🖕🏼

Positive affirmation: I will not envy or want to be someone I am not. I am the one and only me!

Micah 7:8 Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Sent from my iPhone

Happy Father’s Day to all the good dads! 👨🏽👨🏻👨🏿👨

Even if one is not with their child’s(dren’s) father, or there is strain and strife with adults, please allow the children to bond with dad, when possible, in safe situations. No bitterness should enter from a bad perspective of the adult relationship that may not have worked.

Why?

It will one day become a life’s lesson for these kids, as they, too, YESSS, that same child, will one day become a parent! A breakfast, a gift card from your son/daughter, a phone call or FaceTime/Zoom, some type of gesture! They will remember the lesson on parenthood. May yours be one that will be good in generations to come. You will be breaking generational curses. If it is a healthy, safe environment, and you are co-parenting, it will be pleasing to God. Exceptions-There are the dads who do not want to be involved, no one should force the issue. I grew up without a father, but my mom gave us her all! Whether together or apart God is center. Your children will benefit when coexist in peace. 🙏🏽 I promised, Love wins!❤️

Today, I wished my son, who turned out to be a spectacular and loving dad to my grandson, a happy Father’s Day. it is the best feeling of your baby, having a baby of his own, whom he loves with all of his heart. 🍼🙏🏽🎁🥰

Positive affirmation: I will be a positive example in my children’s lives.

(Matthew 6:9-10 Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
10 Your kingdom come,your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven

How could you simply write and not have a major reaction on what happened to you? “What do you mean”, I asked? You know what I mean, you didn’t blow up. 🔥 Actually, I did! I just didn’t implode! You see, I did not blow up 💣 because my entire world was not wrapped around this man. Yes, life goes on because I had a life before I met him. Readers, my center is God, then me and everyone else came after. 🙏🏽 I am not one of those folks, who, once married, 💍 I disconnect with my family and friends, and lost who I am. I’m not one who transform and morph into the significant other and cannot find me! Yes, Readers, I could have wallowed in self-pity. I was able to cut the cord. The key 🔑 to my sanity is, I never lost my core being. Readers, I could not allow this forked tongue 🐍 man, with the entourage of a vindictive ex and a side piece, with a 2-year-old-kid, destroy who I am. My mom would have been very dissapointed in me, because I would have forgotten her teaching, ‘you are not attached to anyone!’

Furthermore, I could have absolutely and rightfully become bitter and hateful, as I learned the depths of his betrayal over the past five months. The jealous rage of the ex informing me that there is a 2-year old child involved; learning the side piece lives appx 15 minutes driving 🚘 distance from my home; learning he had both of those women on his car insurance policy for at least 8 years, is enough to be angry 😤 and bitter! However, the first thing I did was to forgive him, as I cannot retain this toxic venom on the inside, it’s unhealty. He is not a good example for his children, he is an embarrassment to his entire family, he has proven to be a liar and untrustworthy. Readers, he will have to answer to God. There are consequences and that is between him and Jesus.
Gurl, with all the stuff you know now, you are better than me!” Karma is a bitch, I say. I further say, vengeance is God’s. Through work and other affiliations, I see many folks who have allowed a significant other push them over the edge, I won’t be one of them. Besides, that’s too much wasted time and energy to spend on losers and besides, shit always adjust itself. Listen, I have one concern, I am just praying for an uncontested divorce.

I say all of that to say, this simply means that when this man gave me that impactful punch of a mistress and a two-year old child and is still with his ex as a cover-up, sure I was angry, tearful, hurt, etc., but my life went on because God heard my cry and will dry my tears! Yes, it went on even though I gave him a good great loving wife and a good portion of my time. I survived devised schemes, their wicked plans, and his two-faced, double-minded infidelity. Readers, it went on because my support system was in place. It went on through COVID-19. Through this dark chapter of my life in 2020, I had the knowledge and wherewithall to call on God and pray, call my family, friends and find a therapist to support me. My life will continue to go on… Thank you Jesus for your protection and mercy 🙏🏽

Keep your head up!🥰

Positive affirmation: i will always be better and do better. My duty is to help others.

Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Readers, there are givers, users and takers! Anyone who knows me, tells me, I am a giver. I will do anything for you and I don’t expect anything in return. However, I have known users and takers that once they’ve achieved their goals, no longer have any use for someone, and drop them like flies. They will drain you til the last drop, and still wring the towel and mop the floor with you, when done. Some of them even suck the life out of you through friendship, children, marriage, youth, taxi driving, your energy, favors, errands, finance, etc. Then claim, well, you the one that wanted to do it out of the goodness of your heart. So what? The ungrateful sons of bitches blame you for, even, your kindness and goodness 😱🤬

A male friend explained to me why some folks cheat. 🤷🏾‍♀️ He said, it is because this person is self absorbed and needs personal pleasures by taking from others. In other words, the “me” syndrome and/or personal agenda factors, best described as– narcissistic — SELFISHNESS–which in part means, the concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. Yep, you guessed what they say, Readers, “it’s all about me”! 😯 😮

Wanting to be married is a little girl’s dream, but many of us remain married for show. Pride to appear happy. Readers, one is either happy or not happy—no in between and no excuses. Listen, women are cheating at a rate now that rivals men’s rates. Readers, I pray 🙏🏽 for family unity and God’s favor on our marriage. Let’s go back to family — which in part means, oneness, togetherness, God, love, children, us, trust, promise, monogamy, etc. 💒 🎩 👰

Readers, I am but a single grain of sand in the sea of life, and a servant of God. Please understand I would never, not ever, blaspheme and compare myself to our Lord, Jesus! Furthermore, I’ve always talked about a person’s shoe size as it relates to my personal experience, it is one of the best analogy to describe how I cannot fit my size feet 8 into your size 6 shoes or a friend’s size 10 sneakers. One size would be so tight, it would hurt and the other would fit like a boat and trip me up! In other words, Readers, my experience, is a personal one that only I can make the decision to stay or leave a betraying cheating spouse. It sounds like a broken record. This wasn’t a fib. A betrayal is not an accident, it is a calculated and deliberate act! That is not a good thing. To me, however, living with a betrayer is like living with an enemy. Over 8 years of lying and cheating, while kissing my face 🤷🏾‍♀️ But everyone seems to still harp on this, even after all the evidence that have been revealed with the ex and the side piece. They need to question “Why did he not just leave years ago”? My life was placed in jeopardy–physically, sexually and mentally! 🤢🤮 I really don’t give a flying fig what folks think 🤔 My momma taught me to never go back to what broke you. And I am not! Never! Once I learned of the infidelity, I kicked his ass out so he can crawl to the next victim, the side piece. The sly ex can slip in, as well to take and take, she is one of the ultimate user. However, I do not care about them telling me to hush with threats or 🤥🤭🤐 rumors of obeah or voodoo because of where they are from Port De Paix. I serve God only!
I have come to realize that God did not unload this cheating experience in my marriage to me all at once, because the toxicity of it was poisonous. God distributed the information in piecemeal in order to cause minimal damage to me. Glory to God. 🙏🏽

I remain strong 💪🏽 as I wait for the DIVORCE 🎊🎉stamp! 🤮Covid19, 🤷🏾‍♀️ courts ⚖️🏃🏼 🏃🏾‍♀️

Positive affirmation: I will continue to give my all to those who are in need. Use me oh, Lord!

Luke 22:4 And Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus.

Luke 22:47 While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, 48 but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”

Readers, do you realize that for some, going through a break-up and subsequent separation can be overwhelming. Actually, it can become quite scary. Some folks literally lose themselves in the process.
Some folks would have handled this mess quite differently from the way I did, and I respect that. However, for me, I knew immediately that I would not reconcile, because of the operative word—two-years! I valued myself and knew my power. I also could not phantom someone looking at me and lying to me for that long. The betrayal, to me, was enormous! This person could have killed me.
I have since learned so much distressing facts about my marriage, that sometimes the garbage smells so badly, it further reinforced that I could never recycle. 🤔
What started as a manipulative, jealous rage from an ex to gleefully call me to tell me about him having a two-year old kid with another woman, became so much more. Unwelcome secret text, and her sending texts & pics of the kid and my finding insurance policies, getting anonymous text of ex and her new fiancée/husband who was best friend and roommate with my husband decades ago, and learning of accusations they s 2-yr old child is not his, DNA avoidance & denial, the child having the side piece husband’s last name-now they have to get it legally changed if the test proves otherwise, the side piece being a married woman, so much more, came out of you wanting this man to continue to help pay your insurance and your rent, still. 🔥 I have learned that the lies were more than 2 years old. The secrets will all come to light 💡 He has been with the side piece on and off throughout our dating and married period. She knew of our marriage, and did her thing too. 🤥🤥 I was Not entirely sure of all the lies anymore. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Too much for this old broad to handle 🤪 This is total chaos!😱
Yes, Readers, I had to remove myself from the three ring circus of ex, side piece and me.
PSA: some leopard will never change his spots. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

As I learned of the complidcated mess I was in, I knew one thing, I have no control over him. However, I have control over myself. I had to realize that my face cannot remain scrunched up and I remain angry about what he did. I had to turn the frown upside down. No bitterwoman here! I could not let this problem take my joy. I had to stop asking and begging him to sign divorce papers. After five months of waiting, with the same negative result, I had to understand the process is taxing on my spirit. I have to trust God, the most High!
Readers, staying in or getting out of a cheating relationship one must stay strong! The initial shock, I promise you Readers, does eventually evaporate. Sleepless nights will vanish into sound somber. Laughter does come back. Surround yourself with God. Family, friends and a good therapist will help, as well. Play an old comedy album.

For me, God did not allow this man’s lies to break me down. The more I learned, the more his lies erased our marital bond. Boldface lies that was still begging for a comeback. Ex even told me to not leave him, but rather, make him my bitch 🤢🤮. These things allowed me to detach quick and severely.
Readers, there are some folks who cannot react this manner, as I did, and that is ok. I am different.
In addition, Readers, this mess made my prayer life grow stronger, and I believe God placed the right people, at the right time, to help me cope and I worked right through the shock. Thank you, Jesus! I am blessed and very grateful to my family and great friends who stuck with me.

I intiated the divorce process and that gave me such peace. He was finally served by the Processor! God has heard my cry to remove me from such evil. I was the classy cover for dirty behavior.

Thank you 🙏🏽 Jesus that I am one step closer. I know that God has built a fence around me and He has already fought and won the battle for me!

Positive affirmation: Remaining strong. God has kept me!

Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

A couple of folks mentioned to me that I was the main one. I asked, what does that even mean! So Readers, I decided to put the pen to ink. 🖊 📝 💻
I was reminded that this man and I were openly out at church, strolling and 🧺 picnicking 🌳at the park,🚶‍♀️ family vacations🌴, friends birthday 🎁 and anniversary 💍 parties, dinners, bed & breakfasts, family outings, friends’ house, beach outings 🏖, dinner parties, cruise 🚢, work festivities and weddings, his family, associated with his boss and job/team-related functions. This is what normal married couples do, right, Readers? Yes we’re known by all and yet, still he cheated! To me, that’s like saying I’m the main chick. I am over a decade older than him and I’m mid fifties and he is mid 40s. Readers, I know I have always said, I cannot be anyone’s second and I am the one and only, but I will not accept I was the main one, as a soothing patch. To me, it is not a compliment. Yes, I know that the ex and side piece were the secret. They were the unknown to his friends and some of his family. This man knew the world knew of his ex’s indiscretions and never would have imaging him in that light again with her, AGAIN, so he and his ex had to keep their secret sickening lust hidden. Their secret indiscretions became their bond, even after their divorce. He divorced his ex, then was cheating with his ex wife with his girlfriend and then he met me. 🎪 My friends asked me, ‘did he ever stop seeing his ex, even after she cheated on him and had another child with someone else, and may have remarried?’ I don’t know 🤷🏾‍♀️ and cannot answer to such. All I know is this man always looked so demure and quiet, he fooled everyone by being dishonest and unfaithful! A shameful deception. This man lied to God, me (his wife), his pastor, his most intimate close friends, and some of his relatives. Well, God spoiled their plot.
Readers, transparency 👰 I have to be forthcoming with you, however, the way I see it now is, I was just a front, nothing else! Yep, I am being brutally honest, obedient to my Lord, God demands it! No modesty, either. Those two women were the well-hidden secrets. 🤫 No fanfare, no pictures, no going out, just darkness. They are all riddled with deceptive shame, even under the umbrella ruse in God’s house. However, God said, whatever happens in darkness, hallelujah, must come to the light. They were playing games. Games that could have ended in my demises, if prolonged. Timing game! God takes marriage vows very seriously and I was not in a play marriage. I was, however, dragged into a three-ring circus. God said, not only will the wife (yep, me) know about it all, but I’m going to make the ex to tell her. Hallelujah! What she meant for 😈 evil, God meant it for my Good. She called me and ratted him out by telling me he had a 2 year old-yep, it seems more than I needed funds, it sounds like a woman scorned! She had her personal schemes and motives, but it blew up – Jealousy reared it’s ugly head, again 🤐😲-NOTHING But God!🙏🏽 He used that man’s ex to deliver me. Hallelujah, Glory to God. 🙏🏽 only those who have gone through certain circumstances will understand my God.

While my number one mission is to steer folks from family deterioration in a smart and self-preservative manner, folk attribute my blog and our 90/10Group as a non-factor, and continue to utter why are you harping about this marriage and “not letting this man go!” Please note that I am writing about my personal feelings and my experience in my marriage. Writing about me, and my experience in this mess. Please also note, I let this man go before New Year 2020. God knew I could not handle both Coronavirus and the revelation of this toxic union at the same time, so He had me dispose all unnecessary essentials in late December 2019 and change my locks 😏🤨. I asked for a divorce by mouth and text, to no avail on this man’s part. I waited five months for him to sign my requested divorce papers, and since he did not, I had to take the initiative ✅ Now I simply pray and put it in God’s hands for the various steps to the final ‘D’ stamp from the courts! ⚖️ 👏🏽. It’s Memorial Day weekend and still nothing. Why?

Readers, His ex gave me a great gift 🎁 the announcement of a child, adultery! The great escape excuse! She opened this can of worms 🐛 and the lid can’t close no more 🤪🙄 It baffles me that everyone now has something to tell me and shit-fest right here, has been going on for years 🤷🏾‍♀️ Now I hear the old married couple is angry with me for putting them on front street. Yep, seriously! I tell folks, God’s gotta funny sense of humor. The lights 💡 are brightly shining. Ya’ll ain’t gotta hide no more. No more creeping. Come on out to the public in Apopka, Seminole county, or wherever ya’ll move to next! According to these anonymous text so much has been divulged. They said, Oops, is she engaged or did she remarry, or is that new couple done split already? 🙃. I learned that her new man and this man were the best of friends and roommate, about 15 years ago 🤪. SWAP! Just plain nasty! What a mess! 🤢🤮. I do not know why I was in the picture since he knew both of these women prior to him meeting me. 🏡👩🏽‍🎓🎤🎤 Ain’t no sister wives here. Was there a secret plan? What was his plan? Poor man had to really work his butt off. It did not cost me a cent nor did I pay 💰a dime. The plot was foiled 🤷🏾‍♀️. All these anonymous text tell me stories that are starting to connect. All I can say is Thank you, Jesus! My God is my refuge, an ever present help in trouble. I listen to Him and Him only, not man. This is His mission, not mine.

In my house, information is falling in my lap through calls, anonymous text, some of which I had to block. However, earlier last week, I think, I discovered the mother load while cleaning junk, and found old papers from Geico insurance policy, which proved he had them on his policy as additional drivers for at least (2) 4-year consecutive renewal intervals. Readers that is just about right when we were just married or during the time were dating. 🤷🏾‍♀️😱🙄. Although I removed his address from my property, on Monday, the day after I kicked him out, God still had the mailman deliver the new renewal car 🚘 insurance policy this past weekend, listing both ex and side pieces STILL as additional driver on the renewal policy, which now has my name 😱🤫🤭🙄👹. I was ticked off that he had them illegally using my home address. Truly disrespectful and invasive. That is overboard and so extra because that is MY personal space. Yep, idiots and users. Couldn’t they get their own policy? He was paying it, but he forgot it transferred over to my name, as well. Furthermore, this is a woman, Readers, some would say, just destroyed this man’s marriage, and he is, STILL, after 5 months, paying her car insurance – oh, will his excuse be, it’s for the kids 😱🙄🤭 I suppose Readers, you are all wondering, how did my name get into this mess? Well Readers, what has changed is we got a new truck 4 years ago since the last insurance renewal and my name is on this policy, too. The cost this man was paying for driver’s insurance 🥁 🥁 $3500 every biannually (6 months)💰 No wonder he has high blood pressure and worked around the clock. I also have to say this, Readers, my fault, I never opened his mail! I have received anonymous text on and off since the day I left my Family cruise 🚢. I did not believe it. Now after these shenanigans, most of those things said, in those anonymous text may be true. Guess what I did, at the advice of someone dear to me, I got rid of every name and vehicle that wasn’t the RAM Truck 👏🏽👏🏽. Those who have eyes and ears will see, hear and understand.

PSA: Love and be faithful to your spouse this will honor God. Never lose yourself. Too often we get married and acquire a new identity and lose ourselves or morphed into our significant other. However, be prudent, always have a stash of emergency fund. 🤔Your momma didn’t raise no fool. Love thyself and love thy spouse/significant other, as well. ex: I am rounding up and it’s not an actual figure, but an example, folks (my math is not wrong). Let’s say, I was married for 7 years, and if I were to save $50-$100 /month x 7 years that places my stash at $3,500-$7,000. Not everyone can save $50 a month, I get that. Some can save $10–$20 x 10 months because you could not save for 2 months each year = $700-$1400 emergency stash on the lower end. Yes, you are in love and got married for life. My point is save whatever you can. You can utilize it for a divorce, a rental property to move or to do whatever you feel like. Imagine after 50 years of marriage what one can do with that stash—a golden anniversary party 🎉 or a deposit on a Cadillac or Audi 🚘 or an all-expense European 🚢 I have always said, under God, I love myself more than anything. It is not selfish! I pray for everyone’s marriage to last over 50 years. I also know that one does not have to lose self, in order to have a loving family. My story should reinforce you to say, darn it, gee wiz, I guess my spouse/significant other ain’t so bad after all 😇. Love ❤️ on your mate! The more one’s marriage thrive and work for God’s greater purpose, it is a sweet smell in His nostril. Folks, we can have both self, marriage and family all in one! 💒 🎩 👰 🏠

Happy Flag Day to my Haitian 🇭🇹 peeps!

If these posts do not help anyone or sounds negative, please feel free to chime in. Sometimes it feels like I’m alone with no feedback/comments.

Positive affirmation: Yes. God, I will obey.

Ephesians 5:6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7 Therefore do not be partners with them.
8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. 14 This is why it is said:
“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

Please sir, my prayer is for you to Just SIGN the divorce papers!

It takes a toll, through tears, at times, to do God’s work. Yes, Lord, I will obey! Prayer 🙏🏽 surrounds me and catches me in its safety net. God’s hands are holding me, and He would not let me go. I repented for not going to God first. However, every now and again, I think 🤔 about even though I did not know the magnitude of the toxicity of my marriage, the strength it took that December 29, 2019 to pack this man’s shit and kick his ass out, was God’s purpose! Now, all I can say is, BUT GOD!!! Our hands are too short to box with God. 🙏🏽

Yes, Readers, let’s just verbalize a recap of this three-ring circus 🎪 I was a part of. Ex, side piece and me. 😜 🎥 🍿 Beavis & Butthead, the Haitian version of Booki & Malice. In other words Clowns!

Years ago this man asked me to sell my house and let’s go buy a five-bedroom house so that each of our kids can have their own room 🙄😏 My response was why? My grown ass children are out of the house, your kids have a mother and don’t live with us, when they visit, they can stay in my kids’ spare bedrooms. 👍🏽😜 Yep, I said it. And that was the end of that!

I thought I had a monogamous marriage. I know, it makes no sense at all. The word itself is an oxymoron. Wrong! However, God has truly opened my eyes.

Embarrassment and shame was overshadowing me and was suppose to have forced me into silence. God said, it’s not about you! You have to help others! Now I truly understand🙏🏽

I have since learned that between initial notifications and text from his ex, denials and lies from soon to be ex-husband, (I have filed for divorce); constant weird anonymous text messages from whomever (I blocked them-where were these folks for so many years and why now?); 🤐learning that the side piece is a married woman; learning that the kid does not have any of their last names ;🥴folks telling me to shut up and stop talking; and folks telling me to go back to my husband😱🤪; learning he fooled me and she fooled him, it’s no wonder I am glad I immediately sought the help of a therapist. I may need to go sit on the psych couch now😳

In the span of four months, I have received text from ex. The ex told me that he had a two year old child. I was with this man for 9 years, married 7. She said, you are a woman and I am a woman, you should know; and then gleefully blurted it out her excitement. She said, the two-year old child looks like her oldest at that age. She said so much, she then called and text pictures and other information to me over several days. She is not and was never my friend, matter of fact, she meant this for evil 👿 she even spread it all over her own church. Too extra! Yes, Readers, I finally had to ask her ‘are you still fu&$@ing him? Response was, no, I swear on my kids’. Yeah, right! Remember Readers, I was done, and this was days after I put him out. 🥱🤔 if anyone believes that, I got a bridge to sell you!

Received crazy anonymous text messages that I really did not trust or believe because I did not know if they were from the ex or his friends, or a vindictive source. Here’s the surprise, I was not on my husband’s car insurance policy. If I had an inkling of doubt about these anonymous text, this piece of paper was in my house for years, and I found it while I was cleaning stuff to throw out. You would never guess in a million years, Readers! I found his car insurance policy with both his ex and his side piece, as additional drivers on it. Both of them🤢🤮 dated…. 🥁 🥁 🥁 March, 2016. 👁 👀

Oh, readers, guess what, I also learned that the side piece was 22 when they first met and attended the same church as me and my husband did. I was on the American side, she was in the small group in the Haitian side -God sits high and looks low-the disgusting adultery was going on under God’s house too 🥱- the disrespect 🤷🏾‍♀️ – folks texting me with scare tactics where these people are from cannot deter me from doing my mission. God does not care where Port-de-Paix or LaTorture is – This deteriorating saga is not about me. I guess someone has gone and done made God 😤

The side piece and his on and off relationship was weird in itself. But then, so was my marriage 🤔Do you think the ex and side piece knew each other from years ago, or did he keep them separate? Also, why did he not marry the side piece since he knew her before he met me? 😜🤷🏾‍♀️There’s so much more to the three-ring circus, Readers! Too long and ongoing episodes. God spoiled their plot! What was all of their end game for me?👿☠️👻👺👹

Readers, 🙏🏽 God has got a funny sense of humor. I was minding my own business, in my own house when the ex wanted this mess to explode in my face. She contacted me through a third/party. I did not get upset, I was in shock, but I still thanked her. If it were not for her, I would have never known to this day. Yes, Readers, the ex was engaged to his friend and asked for money, and this time, he did not give it to her; but I’m thinking 🤔 it’s more like that of a woman scorned 😂. Jealousy and messing with helping pay for living expenses and car insurance was being messed with. Plus low self-esteem, deep seeded darkness and mental illness surrounded their heart to involve and use so many people 🤧. What the ex meant for evil, God made it for my good 😇. Praise the Lord! But God! Thank you, Jesus!🙏🏽

Once I found out about his infidelity, I have always known one thing, I wanted a divorce. NOW! Folks don’t tell me to 🤫 shhhh! Go talk to God. I am about my Father’s business. Relationships have suffered through the cheater’s denigration in silence! Keep your stuff in your pants and honor your vows. I am here to encourage you all to take care of your spouse, talk to each other. True love can be real! It’s time to make families unite! Find one woman/man and stay your asses home!

Also, DO NOT text me anymore, whoever, you are! I made it plain and clear as day, I did not want him, the second I learned of the adulterous act from the ex. No more anonymous text. No more secrets. One thing though, I found out more things about this man in 4 months than I knew in 9 years.

Readers, Ya think 🤔 he should have signed the free divorce papers I asked him to sign since 12/31/19? 😜😱. I do! Sign the damn papers.

Positive affirmation: I thank God for the ability to say YES to Him!

Bible verse- 1 Peter2:9
“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out no of darkness into his marvelous light

Psalm 119:1-8 King James Version (KJV)

119 Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the Lord.

2 Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart.

3 They also do no iniquity: they walk in his ways.

4 Thou hast commanded us to keep thy precepts diligently.

5 O that my ways were directed to keep thy statutes!

6 Then shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect unto all thy commandments.

7 I will praise thee with uprightness of heart, when I shall have learned thy righteous judgments.

8 I will keep thy statutes: O forsake me not utterly

No matter how closed in, frustrated, depressed, rocky, unsafe, or low you feel during this Coronavirus pandemic, don’t let go, God will uplift you. I have spoken to some folks who are genuinely afraid and fearful, especially if they have young kids. Practice hand washing and other safety measures. Stay safe and be positive! Please remain calm and prayerful. The following may apply to your circumstance:

PSA: For those with kids at home. Cook in large quantities, have plenty of snacks. It is difficult, but lots of television shows, reading, homework, exercise and wear them out, have conversation at dinner table, chores, have them each read a bible verse and discuss its meaning, keep them busy, involved and stress free. Love on them. Maintain your sanity.

If you are working from home and are quarantine and live with a spouse/significant other, it may be a great time to reconnect with a spouse/significant other. Take this time to get to really know each other again. This is a great opportunity to bond conversationally, sexually, bring you closer together. Incorporate prayer in your regimen. Look at old dating pics, put the kids to bed and have at it. Ask each other pertinent questions without starting an argument. Rekindle your love! You may be part of the group that will be expecting a bundle in December, 2020. Build up each other. Remember you are all each other have.

If you are dating and practicing social distancing, or your husband/wife/significant other is away working in another state or across town, you can Facetime, with them. Great opportunity to just talk! Reminisce, tell them you miss them. Pray for one another. Just don’t lose touch. Folks need to feel wanted and distance may make the heart grow fonder. Whatever you do, do not find another mate for comfort and most definitely mask while away.

If you are separated/single/divorced, hug your kids, pets and/or tell yourself it is going to be alright. Call a loved one who may be fearful and alone, cook, journal or blog. Read your bible and pray.

If you are cheating on your spouse/significant other, this is a great opportunity to stop and repent. Ask God for forgiveness. If you have not been caught, just stop and go home and love on your spouse. God gave you another chance.

If I forgot a group, stay safe, as well!

I pray for all hospitalists personel, nurses, doctors, cna, officers, EMS, phlebotomists, laboratory and testing techs for this virus, maintenance folks for all they do, as well as patients. Thank you frontliners for all you do. Use masks, gloves, PPE if there are any left. Keep doing your best. This will end soon.
P.S.: I found toilet paper today at Walmart. 😳😷🤷🏾‍♀️ no masks, Clorox or gloves in site.

Positive affirmation: I pray that this Coronavirus Pandemic will be over soon

Psalms 27:1-3 The Lord is my light and my salvation–whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life–of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. 3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

Can I utilize this post to vent? Readers, I gave it my best and folks want to still blame me. Why? They have nothing better to do except gossip. I couldn’t care less.
I thought I was a good wife. I am a princess! I felt, yes there was some incompatibilities in education, age, finances, but he made me feel special. We had so much in common. We were both divorced. We both had two kids. He made so many great promises and was a good provider, a hard worker and a good dad. He said he loved me, would be there to take care of me in my old age, and never to make mention of the age difference again. Nine years together of which 7 years, married. We did everything together. I was always ready, and never said no. Even on a bad day, I never saw cheating in our equation. However, the great presence faded, date night faded, quick getaways stopped, surprises stopped, even intimacy faded towards the end, as we were exhausted. I attributed the lack of time to the working at a regular job and having a side business. Reader, not entirely sure what went wrong. However, admittedly, it stems from both party, I guess.
Communication fell to the wayside. Listen, I kept house, cooked, cleaned, we attended church, had good jobs, we paid our bills, had luxury car and truck and a business van, my hair, nails, outfits were on point. Neverheless, we started going out less, he still gave me flowers, but I could not put my fingers on it. I felt I could do bad by myself. I started to threatned to kick him out if he did not start making time for us. He promised to make it up to me and things would get good again and he would say, bills don’t pay themselves. So more time working and less time again. Smart, gullible me. I was dooped because I did not see something hot and was boiling over!

Why did he not just leave! I’m older than he is by over a decade. I have from the begining repeatedly told my husband that if he ever met a younger person, he can simply tell me and I would understand and would not cling. He had an easy out, right Readers? Why did he not go? My therapist said, why would he? He had the best of both worlds. A loving home with the wife and a place he can ocassionally go to get rid of his frustration in the side piece

So, Readers, I still have not heard the whole story from my husband, nor do I care to listen anymore, as that ship has sailed. However, sometimes my mind wonders every now and then and I try to calculate the timeline that I so blindly missed.

I have a forgiving and compassionate heart, but my husband lies and lies again. To keep lying day after day for years (omission or not saying anything is a lie too), and carrying the burden and burying a secret that would eventually come out, was a heavy load to carry alone. Having his conscience beat him day after day for almost three years (in part the pregnancy term), is why I have forgive him early on. The thought day in and day out during the course of running away from the shock of secret pleasures may have resulted in pregnancy, in hindsight now I know what gave him the high blood pressure he is medicated for. Further, the possibility of having a sick child in the middle of surgery in 2017, who may have been spiraling towards deterioration in ICU, simultaneously while another women, who is not your wife, who may have been in the process of almost giving birth, must of been devasting burden for him. Wondering if God would take one and give life to another– Wow! Through all of this, he said nothing! I pray for God’s mercy for him.

I was blind because I saw no sadness in his face. but I noticed fatigue and gray hairs from long hours of work. He was withdrawn. But he decided to go bald. Readers, I was too busy bitching and upset about not getting quality time anymore because of work and the business, I never thought of him having time to lurk or creep, resulting in such a low point in his life. Yes, I worked nights at the time, sometime three days in a row. No lightning flash hit him one day for him to say, we gotta talk!

On the other end, there was the side piece who was disapointed that her pregnancy was not well received by the married man, with whom she was creeping with. I guess she did not deduce if two folks doing the dirty every now then, would one day just abruptly cease due to unexpected pregnancy. She was probably angry he abandoned her, so she started to spread her news of him being the baby daddy. Most women who knew a man was their baby daddy would be at child support immediately after giving birth! Am I right, Readers. DNA test? Not this side piece. Was their doubt on her part? Clearly night and day and the side piece, banked on it. Can we say paternity test! Still waiting after two years. Dare I say it, Readers, I hope it is his! My husband’s best buddy approached him two years ago, after having heard of the rumor and my husband flat out denied it! Like the commercial, side piece told a few folks! Then one told another person who told 2 friends, who told 2 friends and they never told me. My husband must have been in denial too to think this rumors being spread would not eventually reach me. They knew and looked me in the face and said nothing! A friend of mine suggested some of these women side pieces either have husbands in Haiti or they need greencards or some of them work waitress or housekeeping jobs at Disney and simply looking for someone to help them financially. They purposely look for weak stupid men like that and blow their ego up. They don’t care if they are married. Oh well, there are a lot of trash out there, and my husband can help clean up!

Lack of communication with my husband may have even lead to more lies because of disagreements. Found out my husband’s always offering to help someone, whether it is lending folks money or getting their car insurance, or co-signing for someone – that is why his credit is so messed up. Kindness can open up free-for-all. The side piece thought she had found a sugar daddy for herself and a baby daddy too. Well Readers, she can have him. The divorce papers have been ready since the next day when I asked a friend to print them out for me. Readers, I don’t blame the side piece. I was not attached to her. My husband knew he was married and voluntarily opened infidelity’s door. At this point, it will not change all these years trial period that he endured in silence. I feel sorry for him. Again, I have forgiven him.

Readers, my husband took me for granted and thought I would always be there. Wrong! I saw no reason for a side piece, not even one hit with a condom. My husband had everything at home, in me. You see, Readers, my husband made the decision for me to break up with him, when he never felt comfortable enough to tell me almost 3 years ago since the pregnancy! He should have manned up! He should have faced whatever the consequences would be and tell me, the second she told him she was pregnant.
I knew my marriage was over the minute I doubly confirmed my husband’s infidelity and a child was produced. I could never deal with the connection of him relative to the side piece due to a kid, a forever link. Not again. I met him with two small kids from a previous relationship, who was attached to a manipulative mother! Now for me to go through that again, this time with a side piece. No amount of begging would change my mind. The betrayal was Judas-like, on the real! Readers, say it with me, N O!
I wish him well. I just can’t be his wife. Please sign and release me so your life can be productive. I know If the child is his, he will provide care. He is a great dad! May God bless him.

PSA: Don’t keep heavy burdens to yourself, it will eventually blow up!

Positive Affirmation. everything happens for reason. It means God will give me my man, a much better and faithful man, my soulmate who is waiting for me somewhere!!!

Matthew 6:14-15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly. Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their. trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Double negative is oxymoronic, but I’ll say this anyway, Readers. Do not, not be there for a friend when they are at their lowest point. Not cool. Not cool at all!

Readers, when a sentinel event (catastrophe, loss, death) happens at a job, one is given time to decompress from the shock and recuperate, and offered support and therapies so they might get back some semblance of before.

In the middle of one’s personal catastrophic event, however, how does it feel when a friend abandons you during your storm? Do you have anyone else around to throw you a lifeline? Do your friends stick by you or do they discard you, like a used paper towel? I hope you have a ride or die friend to lean on!

Readers, when one needs a friend/supporter, the excuses, sometimes, purposeful, are as follows: “I wasn’t there because: “I wanted things to die down, first”; “I did not know what to say”; “I could not face you because I knew your husband/wife was cheating for a while; “I disapproved of your decision to stay/leave”…
PSA: Ya failed to cushion your friend’s blow! Ya did not hold the safety net for your friend! — The truth is like a light, when it comes on, friends should not scatter, like roaches. Readers, did you know that during the storm, your friends needs shelter and a covering warm embrace? This is not the time to turn your back on them! Hypocrisy does not fit in the equation of friendship, either. Please don’t abandon them! Guess what I say Readers, and correct me if I’m wrong or tell us what other excuses may arise—yes, I’m going to say it, “this is not a real friend”! They never liked you. Could telling you have caused a riff in the friendship, yes, but once things died down, it would have been worth it.

Readers, did you know that these may be the same friends who will gossip with folks about your event and publicize it with everyone but you? How do you identify a fake friend? They are not loyal. Soon as you need them, they are never around. They only take, take and take and have nothing to give. They are the ones who gossip and even make fun about how you thought you had that man. Are friends calling to genuinely see how you are doing or calling to get the latest scoop? One may interject under the guise that it was not my place to get involved. But is it your place to watch your friend sink? It’s a slippery slope. I could not, not tell my friend, something, if I knew. I just could not.

Well, in my case, I heard some folks wondered how would they tell me? Conjuring up excuses, time and again. They wondered about it affecting my mental health and well-being! While months and years went by and they continued to wonder and gossip and laugh, —welllll, here comes the unsuspected thorn from God—the ex, who blurts it out with such enthusiasm and excitement—”your husband has a two-year old“! (Folks, stop saying she was out of order-although not purposefully, she turned on the lights for me to see clearly). After hearing this from her and confirmed it with another reliable source, I’m sure that my blood pressure skyrocketed immediately. Nevertheless, don’t worry fake friends, along with my lying 🤥 husband, note that you could have contributed to a heart attack or a stroke for knowing and not telling me to soften the blow, instead. As this may be disappointing to some folks, since the shock did not kill me, some folk’s conscience is clear.
Listen, the lesson here is, and what everyone failed to realize, the secret was bound to come out, and made known to me, eventually. God’s light will always shine over the darkness. Readers, I’m in the spotlight because my family and true frIends pulled out a double safety net over a trampoline to catch me. Dear God I am thankful for your mercy 🙏🏽

Well Readers, in life when one experiences a loss, in our case, separation/breakup/divorce, we need to decompress from the shock of our sentinel event. A friend’s ear should be readily available to listen to a rant 24/7 because your buddy’s life may be spiraling. This is where our family/friends come in, to support us. Right? However, many do not receive the support.
Ever wonder who your true friends are? If one endures Juda’s kiss from both a spouse/significant other through infidelity and lies, and subsequently endures another Juda’s kiss from so-called friend(s), it is called double abandonment! Yep, you too, let your friend down.
I am sending my friends reinforcement and telling you all: God’s got you and won’t let you go from His embrace. He is our safety net. Praise God and continue dancing the dance of betrayal! You will never be alone. I promise, the music will stop and you will get off that emotional cheater rollercoaster.
I know we all have hectic schedules and work around the clock. Take a second out of your busy schedule to reach out to someone who is going through. Bluetooth, hand-free dialing—no excuses. You are in the car for the next 30 minutes to an hour. Drop a call or a quick text, pen a old fashioned note, find an old friendship pic and write on the back and mail it to them. Take care of your friend and pick them up, while they are down.
For me, it has been almost 3 months, next week and I was fortunate to receive support from my children, siblings and extended family members, who enveloped and embraced me, as soon as they learned what happened. I was further favored when my NYC friends from high school, who are my ride or die, although long distance, were a comfort to me, as well, if not in person, but in spirit, due to long distances. Old and new friends offered shoulders, and/or simply listened, without saying a word. My posse co-workers were so uplifting during the course, when my tears and snot were runny. The calls, and sometimes a text from each significant friend, were uplifting.
Readers, I’ve always wrote about not letting depression enter in one’s spirit. I say hang in there; no time to wallow in self pity or wait for folks to perhaps fit you in their busy schedule. Readers, I never called off from work, I kept busy and started helping others, as I always did. I never asked why me, nor did I skip a beat from my norm. I sought therapy, took time to go on vacation and was sick once in the almost three-month period since my sentinel event.
Like me, if you have no time to cook, be that friend that will go to Publix supermarket and get some soup and spoon feed your friend, during her storm!

Positive affirmation – I will be there for a friend

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

AND

1 Peter 4:10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

Z88.3

This is what I get to listen to nowadays. Gurl, you are telling folks too much of your business. Yep, uhh, yeah, I am. This business is anyone’s business worldwide. It’s taboo. Cheating is the secret no one talks about, even though cheating happens everyday. One has either already experienced it personally, is in the middle of experiencing it, will experience it in the near future and/or knows someone who has been cheated on. I am not the first person who this has happened to, and I most certainly will not be the last. However, all I can tell any one who will listen is that one can recover from it because one now realize that they are not alone!

Readers, each of you should be inspired to lift yourself up! Folks will whisper, gossip and make things up. It’s up to you to hold your head up. Forget about those that stared in your face, laughed. You are above them. You were the last one to find out that your spouse/significant other cheated. So what! Know that you did nothing wrong. You made a grown ass decision, without anyone’s permission, to stay or leave. Life goes on. Walk with your head held high. Their lives will go on as they celebrate and party. Guess what? So will yours!

Questions that folks are asking me are: “Are you bitter or angry and vindictive”? Absolutely No, No, No! “Are you punishing him”? Absolutely not! I am on speaking terms with him. So why talk about it”? Because it is a mission. I do not know how to label it. This group or my blog is not about him, it is about my experience and helping others get over their hurdle of being cheated on. I know my husband is not the only one, but he was attached to me, so I can only talk about my situation and experience. “You understand that no one cares, right”? This may be gossip to some, but this is helping folks cope better to know and understand another’s perspective and know they are not alone. “You know you can make money out of this, right”? Yes, but that is not my mission. “Again, you understand that no one cares, right”? Again, it is not my place to analyze who cares or not. It is my place to help another person who is experiencing a hardship during their spouse/significant other cheating, cope better and live their lives, whether or not they remain in the relationship. This is a painful process. Some have literally lost their mind because of shock, fear, denial and/or societal quick judgment. Readers, we are so quick to judge and so quick to tell a person what to do, how to manage their lives and forget that it’s their personal choice. We are not here to judge.

Readers, there is a time for everything—a time to stay, or a time to go. Even if a person cheats once or 50 times, if one stays in the relationship, it’s a personal choice. Respect for another person’s choice or preferences in life, is human kindness. Most of us profess to love God, we say we know right from wrong, and we know good from evil. We attend church and continue to lie to pastors, smiling fake pretentious grins 😢 Lets be real Folks. Even God gives us all free will to make personal choices.

We are all different and know our limits in accepting crap. There are so many triggers to upset our homes —money, children, stepchildren, mortgage, bills, car note, more bills, jobs, sex, family, gigalo/harlots, friends, ex/wives, swingers and so much more. Yep I said it, you do not know what is happening behind closed doors. Some folks just don’t know what’s out there; however, so many of us do not want to hear or know about it, either. Our culture says, look the other way and don’t let anybody know your husband cheated. This may not be a popular post and may not sit well with some folks. However, I am here to inform us and drop some knowledge. Whatever, I have not mentioned, please inform us. Sometimes I feel like I have been in the dark myself.
Readers, unfortunately, it has been made very easy for husbands and wives to cheat. Yes Readers, married women cheat, as well. They creep, just like men do! Receiving a simple call or text of sweet nothing in the ear to elevate and stroke a deprived ego; Running into an old boyfriend or girlfriend and meeting for lunch/dinner 🍷 🥘 ; playful phone sex, leading to personal touch; allowing someone to listen on the phone during a marital tiff; A call from an old friend while in the middle of, or after a fight with a spouse can all spark an episode of cheating, as well. This will usually lead to a small lie of hanging out with the girls/guys. Then it will elevate to bigger lies that will grow into a tidal wave 🌊 Why place oneself in that predicament?
Readers, there are many culprits such as the internet, reality shows, dating sites, time, sex addiction, porno, bars, nude clubs, drugs, hook-ups, desperate and lonely side piece, workhusband/wife, escort services (oh, I forgot, mistress in Haiti, Brazil, Jamaica, Trinidad, Dominican Republic, Barbados, France, England, etc. and Pickneys((children)), which may have helped lead folks to the cheating and infidelity obstacle courses, as well. While all these options are readily available —it is still a choice in the path that one has chosen to cheat. No one forced anyone.
Listen, marriages do not break up because of sex. Yes, there are some folks that are sex addicts and there are some folks that are colder than the refridgerator because they are frigid. Marriages may not even break up in some cases of infidelity. Well, what do you think, Readers, one should just leave, right? Not necessarily! Different strokes for different folks. Folks may choose to stay because it mutually benefits both parties. Ego? Dignity? One can’t tell the bill collector, hold up, let me get the money out of my dignity wallet, huh? 😂 There is no dealing with bruised ego to think of at this time! We are thinking about the children, the finances, the family, the embarrassment, the old sores and scars that have not healed from a previous relationship.
Well, Readers, let’s face it, most husbands never leave their wives for the side piece. Most wives never leave their husbands, either. A cheater wants both!
At any rate, many spouses usually are not going anywhere either-as most stay after being cheated on. It is said, i’d rather take my chances and stay with loser I know than start all over again. Cheaters bank on it. Will they cheat again? Statistics says 95% yes, they will. And I’ll leave it right there.
PSA: Readers, if one decides to stay, ya gotta let it go! no regurgitation of the affair every day! No torture of remember when… Bring out the essential oils and embrace each other. Dont be stupid though! Mind the store, but don’t make yourself sick either with checking speedometer, time and cellphones 📱 📞 —guess what, there are burner phones out there. If you are staying, stay wholeheartedly!
Those that are in limbo and wondering what to do next after your mate cheated—pray and ask God for discernment and direction.
Those that are divorced—pray and thank God for leading you out of the mess of the relationship and allowing one to start anew. Start a garden, buy a property, start a hobby, start a new career, travel, date, remarry, if that is one’s preferrence.

My husband used to say, when he coughs and hacks, I do not jump and take care of him immediately. However, he still states, even if he is sick, he sees me, he feels better. I understand he loves me. And, Readers, I hear every single day, it’s culturally acceptable for a man to cheat. It is not culturally acceptable for a woman, though. I just know that God sits high and looks low.

You see Readers, It’s complicated! By the time folks talk about things I wrote about, the translation may lose its essence and they would whisper wrong tidbits about how I went to Mars and back. Everything has a time and a season. Not everyone remains in our lives forever. Those that are still married, reinforce your love and commitment to each other.

Readers, my husband would have never told me the truth about his infidelity and subsequent accusation. Who do you think put it out there to the public, if only two people were screwing around in the dark? Readers, yep, the side piece. She got mad because he said, you know I’m married and I’m not leaving my wife. So, she put him on blast. Since he went there, oh well. Then the rumors got fanned out like wildfire, by more folks knowing—in the church, friends, family. Shhh! Did you hear… Everyone knew, but me—it took 2 years—it was a matter of time—everything has it’s time.

Listen, I don’t know if I made the right decision when I chose to dissolve my relationship. I do know that I made a decision that was right for me at the time. My personal feelings, I don’t have to get beat up before I get straightened up.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Positive affirmation: I am a child of God!

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I tell folks to live our best life in every day because time waits for no one. I am over 50 and this is the latter part of life rather than the first 1-49. I do not want to be wasting my precious time. There is probably less time left in our live than more, so we should cherish it. Anyone who knows me know that I do not like lies. I am as transparent as they come. Anyone can come to me, ask anything and I will say, yes, I said it or I will say, no, I did not. No one needs to go behind my back and say anything, just ask me and you know I will tell you!

I once wrote in 2018 for my birthday in chapter 50s, what I would tell a younger picture I posted from High School. I told this girl (picture of me) to be patient and wait on God because He will lead her and carry her through life’s obstacle courses. I told her it was ok for her to cry because she will have more laughter than tears. I told her to be true to herself and not let folks transform her. I told her to savor each moment, laugh, dance and be selfish sometimes. I told her she will be a mother, a wife, graduate with a Master’s degree, travel and hopefully become a grandma one day. I also told her she would gain a few pounds. I told that girl, I would kiss her and tell her that no matter how bad it looks, she will be alright.

Well, Readers, I became a grandmother, a little over a year later.

My point is, when we are going through life’s pain, we do not see beyond our current hurts. We never think it will get better. However, I am here to tell you, we cannot stay and wallow in depression, fear or sadness. We must thrive and move or get left behind. Depression is a sad state to be in, forever. Whether things don’t work out in a relationship, a career, school, divorce, separation or whatever, let’s keep going. I promise you, it will get better! I have always been on the move and not wait for anyone to do for me or take me somewhere. My mother had great advice, although some may not have been appreciated at the time. My mom used to say, I did not have Siamese twins, you are not stuck to anyone! Go do and be (what?). Now, I get it. I miss her!

Dear younger me, that girl in the picture was 17 at the time. She got married at the tender age of 19, to someone seven years, her senior. She had her first kid at 20 (a kid having a kid), my 2nd kid came 9 years later, and my separation followed, shortly after. I raised 2 kids, alone, with the help of God. So If I kept it together for them, you all can keep it together, as well. Folks, men or women, if someone cheats, life does not end. It can never be that bad. However, i can and will say, it gets better, with time. Let me say this, that young girl, scrounged, worked many jobs, kept house, and spoiled and loved on her boys. They are my joy. Because my marriage did not work with their father, does not mean I gave up. We were strained for many years, but I held my own. Oh, please, Readers, I dated, was dumped because I had higher standards, was engaged, dated again and again, and I dumped several dudes because of cheating. This is not my first rodeo.

In this 2nd marriage, however, I am 12 years older than my current husband. He knew it, and still pursued me, hard! I told him from jump, I will not tolerate a cheater. My husband assumed I meant everyone else, but him. He hid that secret for years. That was a shocker for me. I did not see it coming from him. I guess I was naive and thought it would never happen to me, with him. I always said, I am better and deserve better. (yep, folks always said that I was snooty, and yes, I am). You cannot hurt the one you profess to love so much. Yes, Readers, I am a forgiving wife. But I can no longer be his wife, if that makes sense.

This is the same thing I would tell all of you now. If something does not work, ok, try another. There is always hope in future outcomes. Not conjugating Ver’s, but in the words of my mom—Go, Be, Do!

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Positive affirmation: Today is a beautiful day to go for a walk and talk to God!

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Readers, we need to know that we are loved and our lives are not empty. God always has a greater purpose for us. One may not understand His way or why! It is not for us to ask God, why me? Some folks think that everything revolves around them. I’m here to tell you, it does not! Narcissistic (selfish/me, me) folks may think differently! However, our real purpose is to worship God and help the next person.

Sometimes we make hasty decisions that may negatively impact us. This was not one of those times, for me. The trust was severed. Our bond was broken. I knew the same hour I found out my husband may have fathered a child outside of our marriage, I could never go back to him. Readers, I know what you are thinking 🤔 ‘how could you know so fast?’ Well, the principal and several major factors! It does not matter whether the child is his. The dirty act was done by choice. I’ll give this a visual and break it down further—my husband’s penis went into another woman’s vagina, without a condom, while married to me. No amount of I’m sorry can erase it from my memory (small rant).
Firstly 1a- I did not hear of his infidelity from him. 1b-the length of time (2+ years). 1c-the promise and the token of our marriage vows disrespected. Secondly and personally, I knew my lips could not kiss him again and I knew our bodies could not be intimate again, either. You see Readers, i deserve better, plus, I never learned to share in the sandbox during playtime.

Readers, I had to repent because I did not ask God for permission first before I asked my husband to leave. I understand the Bible says that infidelity is a reason that I may leave my husband, but I did not appeal to my Father God first and for that I am sorry. I also forgave my husband. Readers we must go to God first for everything and in every situation and pray/petition.

Having said that, God already knew my heart and knew the outcome. You see, Readers, God does not make mistakes. When something happens, stop saying, it’s the devil 👿. I’m telling you, I know that God opened my eyes by using the least likeliest person anyone would have expected to tell me. Someone who probably hates my guts And, took pleasure in telling me. God has a funny sense of humor. But God will use a rock, a rattlesnake or an ant, if He feels like it, in order to get a message to His people! What she may have meant for evil, hallelujah, God meant it for my good. I had to find out, and it had to come to light, amen. Oh, yeah, I was feeling some kinda way and was in my feelings that night. Since then, I have learned lots of folks knew for months and years. However, no one had the balls to tell me. It may not have been their place and I get that. But some of those same folks, now, want to tell me what to do. I say to them, kick rocks! Hypocrisy is not welcomed and is anti-friendship. I could not care less as some keep gossiping. This round is my dance alone; and to many folk’s dismay, God has uplifted me and embraced me so I have not fallen. Listen, I was told by a number of folks, that the cultural response to my husband’s ex-telling me, should have been: I’ll wait to discuss this with my husband once he gets home. Instead, I decided to simply thank her and made calls to confirm the possible two-year old product of infidelity. Matter of fact, I was grateful to her. I probably would have never found out.
Let’s just say, after two-hours of the disarray of his strewn belongings thrown in the garage, upon my husband’s arrival home, all that came out was, “ I did not know how to tell you”. “I was too scared to tell you”. “I love y…” Stop—just leave! (remember no cursing).

Readers, did you know that denial is unhealthy? It is also bad for a relationship, as well. Why? Because it builds resentment and animosity, that almost always results in negative outcomes. If folks choose to remain in the relationship with a known cheater, it is a personal choice, however, if you are staying and there is no open discussion or therapy, emotions will fester and come to a boil and will runneth over to resentment with spouses sleeping under the same roof, but different beds and/or possibly may lead to the other spouse cheating for revenge. Please try to prevent attending your personal infidelity dance. Sometimes when infidelity sets in and nothing is done and the hurt is swept under the rug, almost nothing will make sense in our household because we are living a lie. Please, also avoid the chaos. This is some serious advice folks. Work it out! Communication is key. By doing so, the anger, tears and pain will subside and eventually fade in the wind as time pass, and your relationship may grow stronger.

There are terrific spouses out there. I wish every relationship well. I had to face the honest truth that weighed me down for a sleepless month, my ego received a major hit. God has allowed my truth, to give hope to myself and others, as we read these writings. I sought other help immediately, as well. I had to go through a complete physical, including STD testing. No one needs to go through this alone. I had God, my close family and friends. One of the things my therapist said to me is: did you enjoy your marriage journey and had fun when things was good. I ain’t gonna lie or front—yes, I did! It was great. I have no bitterness or regrets. Stop! I had to love myself more and cut our marital cord.

Reader’s please notice I do not bash and ask us not to do so. I express my personal journey through my husband’s marital infidelity. I can even be cordial to him. A nasty woman is an unhappy person. That I am not! This is a new journey that God is taken me.
Readers, I must shout out that I really think that our cheating spouse/significant other loves us. However, they just wanted more and more and yes, more. This may be a generational curse.

I would be remiss if I did not say infidelity has happened to many folks. Some chose to suffer in silence. To them, I say, please stay strong! However, I would further be remised if I did not pose this question which may relate to ourselves, daughters/sons, brother/sisters, friends, neighbors, parents, boss, cousins, and co-workers (anyone) —if a partner continues to cheat, and we continue to accept it, is there any self-esteem or dignity left in us and/or are we being told indirectly by our spouse/significant other they don’t want us? I can’t imagine staying with someone who doesn’t want me! What do you think? Please post an opinion/response for discussion…

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Positive affirmation: In order to find peace, I removed all negative energy from my life this week.

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Excuses are the weakest link as to why did he/she cheat!  One excuse may be lack of communication. Ah, perhaps, the answer would be so why not strike up a conversation with the spouse? Another excuse is: “I didn’t feel loved” one of the weakest excuse, especially if one did not find love in the person they were cheating with, as well; but here are a few other reasons given for cheating that I have heard from friends:  

he/she was busy attending to the kids; he/she was working late at night and I felt bored; he/she was always too tired to do activities; he/she goes out with friends too much; he/she cheated just because they could;

he/she did not give enough attention to me; he/she talked to much; he/she did not make me feel special. So, why not just leave?

Listen, like a well-oiled machine, a marriage takes communication, a listening ear, a loving heart and God in its midst in order to function well.

I am here to remove bitterness from our palates. I am here because God said to uplift others. Cleaning and clearing us from inside out will remove the clutter and help our healing process. As a wife/husband/significant other, we did nothing wrong. However, we have to clean, glue, tape and mend our own lives back together and lift up our head, after we have been cheated on. Let’s go!

PSA:  The struggle, Readers, is real. In a marriage, we get a helpmate because the Word says two are better than one in a union. What else may come into this union? Children, jobs, mortgage/rent, car note(s), kids tuition, grocery shopping, travel expenses, lawn care, hair cuts, light bill, gas bill, water bill, clothing expenses, credit card payments, college tuition, daily maintenance, etc.  life has many obstacles to sort through. Couples are drowning in bills and do not have time for each other, some may make time for date night, keep house, do children’s homework, bathe them and get them ready for bed and do it again in the morning, cook dinner or bring in take out because they are too tired from overtime to help pay the above listed bills.  This is not the time to be cheating, the other helpmate needs help.  Yes, real life struggles that should be embraced, together as a couple. Do not make what should be a positive bonding period, become a burden.  — Readers marriage is a collaboration!  Both folks, still try to be the best husband or the best wife and one would think that would be enough.  Right?  But some folks sneak a little more or slitter like a snake in the grass looking in the dirt.  Some have not paid attention, but kids are watching.  I have heard pastors say that it is best for children not to grow up in an unstable home where their parents are constantly fighting/bickering.  Parents should be a great role model for their kids.  It is an awful example when children have to observe cheating parents, worst, have to partake and pick sides.  I was fortunate not to have had children with my second husband.  For those household who have experienced one or both parents cheating, get counseling, get pastoral help.  It will make a smoother transition for the children in their adulthood so that the cycle may be less likely to repeat.

Anyone can blow smoke up someone’s posterior to make them feel like a king. That is the biggest con game going around.  It makes anybody feel good.  Yes, some folks have midlife crisis and although I am not condoning wild and irresponsible midlife crises behavior, I understand folks wanting a great big high that boost their ego.  She/he feels good when someone strokes her/his ego.  Folks are probably thinking—I’m gonna kick her ass! Regardless, in my case for instance, I was not married to the woman, she owed me nothing (except the respect that a wife/husband commands). She may not have given me that, but she is out of sight and out of mind because she is not my problem.  Readers, try your hardest not to be bothered by the outside person.  Deal with the spouse or significant other directly (yeah, my support group).

Readers, the commitment, made to me, in my opinion was from my husband.  He took the vows before God and before the pastor and witnesses. No one forced him to cheat.  My husband made a conscious choice to cheat. Which husband was coming home to me? The one who promised to love, honor and cherish his wife before God. Or the cheater in avoidance of the truth? I am not sure.  Will my real husband, please stand up?  Well, I said, that first night, don’t bother.  It takes a real person to realize that they have been caught, so it is time to sit down, talk and stop lying to the wife/husband/significant other! The more one lies, the more one has to lie to cover the lie. That makes one a liar!  This is a life’s lesson and a PSA: tell the truth folks—secrets will get put out on purpose so that it will explode and not be a secret anymore. Best thing, stop lying to your spouse, mothers-stop covering for your sons, brothers, sisters, family members and avoid further devastation and family deterioration. Stop blaming the wives, husbands and significant other when shit blows up – 9/10 shit blows up and then the blame is not placed on the cheater; the blame is placed on the spouse. Why? Stupidity! 

Sometimes I would like to say, which part of I’m done did my husband not understand. First and foremost, I would like a peaceful transition in not just separating, but a divorce. Divorce papers should have been signed in February, as I requested. He should have said, where do I sign, quick!  For me there isn’t any —oh, wait a while and her old ass will get over it. Do the right thing! Let me go, so you can move on.  I simply do not care! Readers, I made a personal choice. Please understand, however, there is no shame in staying. It may very well work out. I know families who have embraced children brought into marital household and raised by the wife. Most folks stay for their own marital children, for finances, for society’s sake, for the family sake, etc.  I’m here to tell you please talk, hug and love on your wife/husbands/significant other so that it will not get to the point of divorce. If your relationship is rocky — Work it out!

Some folks act slow as molasses by turning a blind eye in avoidance, other folks act as a boss because they think if they smother a spouse, he won’t cheat. Neither is a good thing. Again, I cannot emphasize communication. Some folk say, oh, I wish my spouse would cheat on me or I wish wife/husband would do that to me.  — No you don’t. Readers, not all of us fit the same shoe size!  What may work for one person, may not work for another.  To each his own (NO JUDGEMENT)! As I have been saying throughout my group or blog postings, leaving a cheater or staying in the relationship with a known cheater, is a personal choice   This must not be the week’s gossip channel episode.

My advice, Readers, is not to let a relationship deteriorate.  Love wins!  Question: Writer, what if I loved on my spouse, did all the spousal duties and they still cheated? Well Readers, you know how when you only miss the toilet paper when you run out of it?—Well, you just have to let them use their hands in the mess!  

James 1:12 New International Version (NIV)

12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

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Holy Bible

After being cheated on, some may ask, “how do I deal with it, going forward?” Well, Readers, the answer is, one day at a time. First is to take a deep breath. Pray! Then, perhaps take some time for yourself.
Did anyone take some “ME” time?
I did! As for me, now that my vacation is over, my time spent with my family has been productive and I have surrounded myself with nurturing, loving folks who are supportive —Again, what now? It’s not even about the cheating spouse/significant other anymore. It is about us! We have experienced or know someone who has been cheated on. Some of us are still happily married and have stayed in our relationship —and I always pray for marital strength and may the Lord continue to bless your marriage. Secret is, communication with your spouse/significant other. This group is here to help everyone. We do not judge. Yes, help —I mean all of us. So many read through this group or my blog daily and never reply a word. It is ok. While you read, get some tea or coffee, I still consider this ME time. Share this positive good news group with anyone who is suffering or has suffered and made it through.

I say, be selfish with yourself! Learn to say no! Learn to be alone. “You” cannot help everyone anymore. Take a load off your shoulders.
Then you can do whatever you like!
Oh, I almost forgot—Remove negative people from your lives.

Treat yourself to a spa day. If you do not have any extra funds, clean your tub, light some candles from the dollar tree, run a warm bath with lavender scents. Cut down on your extra household expenses. Get the grandparents involved with the kids (if you have any), date, remarry. You do you and whatever makes you happy.

Someone told me that I appear too calm, could I be faking it? Another person said that I seem to be doing so well, that perhaps I really did not care or love. I loved my husband, but I love me more!
Yep, folks will try you. But I took the high road, because those who really know me are smiling and visualizing me kissing my arms and hands, singing to myself 🎤 🎶 ‘I love me some ME’.
Not everyone likes you. Yep, some are even are jealous of you.! Some folks don’t like you and do not have your best interest at heart. Who cares? I’m here to tell you that my well-being comes first. Readers, so should yours! My condition when I first learned of this spiraling cheating experience, was shock with feelings of prickling knives in the shattered pieces of my body. I have forgiven him and I am now able to pray for him and ask God to give him peace of mind to move on. Say what, now? Yep, I said it, I include him in my prayers. I pray he finds happiness, as well. When we forgive, we heal. Listen Readers, I make no apologies for picking up my hurt pieces and putting myself back together again with God, family, friends and therapy. I sought help right away through prayer, journaling, blogging and therapy. Mental health deterioration is real if not looked after. I was not going to stay and shut up because my culture or my age may dictate that, chances are, I’ll be alone and lonely. To maintain peace of mind, I’ll take my chances. Meanwhile, once in a while I encourage and uplift myself when I go back and read what I wrote a week or a month ago. This is helping me, too.

You see Readers, I do not have that issue, because, under God, I have always come first. I was happy in my marriage. However, the key fact is, I never lost or have I forgotten myself.
My dearly departed mother has shown me to put myself first. That is why through this infidelity tsunami with torrential downpour and rain I had Jesus lifeboat ready to carry me through this storm when I received the devastating, life changing call in late December 2019. When I got to land, I followed the breadcrumbs I had laid out called family, friends and resources that I never got rid of because I got married. I am blessed.
Bottomline, no man (no one) is an island, so don’t drop your family or friends. Your spouse is a welcomed addition to your orchestra, not a solo ensemble.

John 14: 1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.

Positive affirmation. I love God with ALL my heart and soul.

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Please stop calling me and making me feel guilty as if I did something wrong! I did not take another man on my husband. I did not cheat. I did not disrespect my marriage vows. Stay in your lane and run your own house. Just stop it! My health and healing is my priority right now and this blog has helped me and others.

PSA -When someone cheats please do not blame the wife or significant other. As a wife or significant other, know “you did nothing wrong”. Readers, please note that this group is here to help those recover from being cheated on and for healing, not for blame. We are not alone and here for each other.
A cheater cannot blame his wife or significant other by saying they caused them to cheat. A cheater cannot cop out and say, what do you want me to do, hurt myself? That is not fair and it is unacceptable.
Therapists state a cheater made a choice to sneak around, the wife or significant other has nothing to do with it.
Please stop telling me to stop my blog. I do not have children in the marriage. Still, I cannot erase 7 years of marriage in a snap. There is layers of pain and memories to sort through.

I have asked for a divorce so that everyone can move on. I got over the lies and have moved on from that call in late December 2019.

My blog is not responsible for anyone’s misdeeds. this is meant to inspire hope.

Positive affirmation: I am not responsible for anyone else’s actions.

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Peace of mind is an ideal state that is sought by the conscious and unconscious mind. When one is surrounded by fighting, bickering, confusion, lies, infidelity, cover-ups, denial, there is no peace, no sleep or somber! Readers, did you know that one can allow another person to literally steal their joy? One of my goals is never to allow this to happen to me. God is love and the joy of my salvation! Yes, I said it. Although many have attempted on numerous occasions, to take away my peace of mind, I dare say, no one can ever steal my joy or my peace! Readers, under God, the peace, is in “YOU”.

This is the time to surround and saturate yourself with those loved ones, the great friends who understands and listens when one needs to vent, the co-worker who has been through who will support you because they already understand. This is not the time to gossip and laugh while a friend is going through. This is a tumultuous period that, if not careful, a person may spiral into depression, if not held onto. This person’s trust has been writhe, drenched with tears and writhe again. They are in shock and hurting. This is the time for them to reach out to pastoral counseling, mental health therapy, family embracing, self-reflection and prayer.

The person going through this process of being cheated on is currently devastated, embarrassed, sleep-deprived and perhaps at a low point. Yes, this spouse may be feeling poorly at this early point of finding out their partner has cheated on them. I am not talking about someone who took their vows lightly. I am not even talking about the co-cheater (stated nicely) who took someone else’s vows lightly to disrespect a marriage. I am talking about a devoted person who respected God and their marriage. Respect! Listen, why does one ever place themselves into a compromising situation? Why call a married person just to talk? Why entertain the call as a married person? Why invite a nightly conversation with a married person? What do you think may come from this? Temptation is real and some think it is a game! Don’t play, because everyone loses – families get destroyed – children, mothers, wives, fathers, siblings, grandparents, the whole extended family, in some cases.

Please remove the cloak of embarrassment, Readers. Remember, “you did nothing wrong”. If the cheater had five wives, he would have wanted a sixth; if the cheater had 10 wives, he would have wanted one more. Hang on, my friend! If one has never experienced being cheated on, encourage the person you know who have experienced being cheated on. The odds are they are your best friend, your sister, your brother, your co-worker, your boss, your librarian, your teacher, your cousin, your bible study partner, your neighbor… They need to know that someone is there for them. Please go on the link below: 9010Cheatingclub for more support.

Listen, the cheater does not even think how they have damaged the relationship. They just know that because of the stigma of the embarrassment, they will always have a spouse who will remain silent. Some cheaters may not even care, except for the thrill of getting away with it. Yep, they think they got away with it, until caught, so here comes the lies. Let us not lose ourselves in denials and lies. Remember, every lie has to be covered with a bigger lie! My advise to my Readers: Love and only love your spouse/partner. Remain faithful. No wandering eyes! Readers, one cannot be devoted to someone in a monogamous relationship and living a double life, simultaneously. The truth will always come out because darkness cannot hide from the light.

This is not a debbie-downer blog. Those who are still happily married, I am advising you to talk to your spouse, ask one another, what is bothering you? Learn how to make your marriage and/or relationship better. I’m not saying it will make it harder for them to cheat, but you can try to make each other happier. Talk to a spouse instead of calling a dude or dudette! Tell them what is bothering you and how can “we” fix it. Pray together! I am wishing you my heartfelt wishes that you make your marriage work.

I promise, some may have sleepless nights, loss of appetite, excessive appetite, loneliness, perhaps even some panic attacks, but stay in God, listen to Christian and/or Gospel music, read your bible, pray, meditate, exercise, eat, write a journal, talk with family members and devoted friends, go to a movie or museum (alone), laugh, take a trip. I have a supportive family, good and loyal friends, and co-workers who uplift my spirits. I sought help from outside sources, as well. I am not alone. I feel blessed. My healing is a process, and I have not asked why me. I was happy and joyful before marriage and thank you, Jesus, that has not changed. God is utilizing this blog and group posting to help so many cope. These are some of the things that have gotten me through. I thank God, I found my peace and for this I am grateful!

Positive affirmation: I helped a few folks today.

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https://www.facebook.com/groups/646422506132246/?ref=group_header

What is the mission of these blogs, posts, and journaling? Initially, it was for me to chronicle my experience and read my progress. Now after much prayer, I am learning how so many folks have been crushed, shocked, shattered from the experience of being cheated on. God makes no mistake. I believe this is a calling to not only help myself, but in my awful process, help many others, better cope, and eventually rise from their ashes. You, too, will get better. May God bless and strengthen you, each day, my Readers. Please see the below and read more of our experiences. I only ask you do not utilize profanity in the forum. Join us.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646422506132246/?ref=share